Welcome to the first of our LAB Panty Party pandidate profiles. Here you will find a brief overview of pantidates who have flung themselves into the Burmese junta’s trick election for 2010.
If you see a pantidate that you like, someone who you would like to lobby for… well… just begin really. Sort out your panties…tell a friend or a neighbor…make a badge or a hat and wear it….have a panty party…organize an egg and spoon race…set up a postal vote stand at the nearest Burmese Embassy…start to collect people who will be ready to vote for your pantidate … it is not what you do, so much as that you do make a mockery of the junta’s mock elections…
Please send any comments, photos, sketches or stories about your events, big or small either by post, email, joining on face book or Htwee us.
New pantidate profiles will appear regularly along with LPP announcements, polls, bulletins and updates. However, if you can’t quite find that special pantidate you can relate to…or perhaps you fancy taking on the SPDC more directly…or maybe always wanted to try your pants at politics …well stand by …LPP will be taking applications for new pantidates in the coming months. In the meantime seek out your constituency…prepare your pantfolio….and plan to sign our pantifesto!
Madam Panty (MP)
The Right Honorable
Wicked Witches V-string (WWV)
Founding Party Member and Top Drawer
Ethnicity: Shan Witch, Burma
Education: WWV learned to harness and direct her powers at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: Jungle Campus, where she graduated with Doctorate in Witchcraft: Thesis “Flight and Fight”
Political background and history: Since graduating MP WWV has become a decorated veteran campaigner with more medals than Than Shwe festooned about her khaki knickers. WWV’s credentials are impeccable. Behind Than Shwe’s back and sometimes under his nose she has used her sorcery to remove the all the amulets he has had placed inside many of Burma’s pagodas. She showed a little of her true strength in the high profile removal of his ruby and umbrella from the Danok Pagoda earlier this year.
Signature Issue: Relief from passing bad gas… MP WWV will free Burma and her neighbors from all the suffering bought about by years of offensive gas. Total, Chevron and Shwe-Gas will all be gone with the wind, along with those damn psycho physic nuts! She vows to replace local and regional energy and transport needs with low-tech environment and women friendly solutions like flying htmaines (sarongs).
Key Role in LPP Seven-Day Road Map
MP WWV will use her special magic to ensure immediate free size multi-panty dialogue
Madam Panty (MP)
The Right Honorable
Panties Galore
Founding Party Member and Top Drawer
Constituency: MP Panties Galore is representing her local neighborhood of Downtown Rangoon
Political background and history: MP Panties Galore is a passionate political animal with a surplus of courage and panties to use against her opponents. She prefers to live life under the covers, tucked within the shadow of the junta, only coming out to take a swipe at the Generals or perhaps to do a little bit of shopping. MP Panties Galore is a destructive element from way back, who feels no one can break too many rules or have too many panties.
Signature Issue: Sport and Recreation. MP Panties Galore plans to secure the 2012 Olympics for Burma. With the generals out of the way Nay Pyi Taw will make the perfect Olympic Village. Panties Galore predicts a fair share of Gold Medals for the people of Burma who have been in training for 2 decades running, lifting weights, hurdling barricades, swimming and leaping over borders.
Key Role in LPP Seven Day Road Map
Given her signature issue of recreation MP Panties Galore will have a major role in the election victory celebrations… One Township One Party.
Madam Panty (MP)
The Right Honorable
Cutie Panty
Founding Party Member and Top Drawer
Political background and history: Another made-in-Burma Pantidate, local girl MP Cutie Pants is a one of our naughtiest politicians. This dynamic pantidate has been mentored by the old hands and is more than ready to liven up things in Burma. She is the perfect pantidate for the under 25 year old voters!
Expertise and Attributes: Renown for her cute knack of infiltrating into the hearts and minds of her enemies…MP Cutie Panty mixes it up in the inner circle and is super skilled at deep deep cover.
Signature Issue: Youth, technology, art and culture. MP Cutie Panty stretches her elastic across the generations. While keeping her aunties happy, she will create space, both virtual and real, for student protests, rappers, graffiti, rock, indy, comedy, hip hop and all the other expression of a youthful and alive Burma.
Key Role in LPP Seven Day Road Map: Illegitimate FTA agreements and Special Cross Border Economic Zones made by SPDC will be revoked for re-consideration by the legitimate leaders. In the meantime MP Cutie Panty will have seven days to experiment and enjoy Free Panty Agreements and Special Cross Border Panty Zones.
Madam Panty (MP)
The Right Honorable
Shin Gwan Danni Zargi Htwee (ha ha ha so funny in Burmese!!??)
Founding Party Member and Top Drawer
Political background and history: MP Shin Gwan Danni Zargi TweHtwee is destined to drive her opponents right out of their minds. She takes her political instruction from Mother Nature using the earth’s gifts of mushrooms, weeds, flowers and plants the hills of Burma provide to wage her own brand of homeopathic herbal warfare. MP Shin Gwan Danni Zargi Htwee is just the panacea Burma needs.
Career Highlights: Giving Than Shwe nightmares, tinea and head lice when he attended the 2003 opening of the National Poison Control Centre. Being congratulated by Than Shwe when attending the 8th Myanmar Traditional Medicine Practitioners Conference, Yangon 2007 and passing him the duel terror of bad diarrhoea and an explosive cough. Adding a few extras to Thandar’s stolen emergency biscuits, May 2008. Baking and serving a special mushroom pie for Kyiang Kyiang 15th March 2008.
Signature Issue: Health. MP Shin Gwan Danni Zargi Htwee has experience in both herbal warfare and herbal wellness and can implement either as needed. In her seven days of power will ensure there will be herbs in every health center. After that she asks fellow potion lovers to meet her at the Burma - Tibeten border for nature study, collection and the freeing of Tibet.
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